AD #2078 – Obama Gifts Limo to Trump, EPA Finds Another Defeat Device, Russians Beat the Winter Blues

March 31st, 2017 at 11:35am

Runtime: 5:04

To watch this episode on YouTube click here.

- Dollars & Cents
- DMZ is in the Zone
- DPRK Smashes Tractor Record
- Dear Leader Outshoots Dennis Rodman
- Obama Gifts Limo to Trump
- EPA Finds Another Defeat Device
- Russians Beat the Winter Blues

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23 Comments to “AD #2078 – Obama Gifts Limo to Trump, EPA Finds Another Defeat Device, Russians Beat the Winter Blues”

  1. G.A.Branigan Says:

    LMMFAO!!! Great show John ;}>

  2. Mac Says:

    Hilarious! This is one of the best spoofs in years. Great job!!!

  3. Ziggy Says:

    You know it is fake news when it is reported that the EPA has found anything, under Trump they will be lucky if they are allowed to find the rest rooms.

  4. Tom Says:

    Love it!

  5. Ctech Says:

    …And the 50 cent story looks so real.

  6. Barry Rector Says:

    Awesome news reporting today John. Keep up the great investigating news!!

  7. Wim van Acker Says:

    GREAT

  8. Arcade Mike Says:

    Great show! Love it!

  9. Wim van Acker Says:

    Just learned, that Mr. Piech managed to sell his VW shares to his cousins and just closed on purchasing FCA

  10. Albemarle Says:

    Love it!!!
    Have to admit the first piece got me going for longer than it should have. Well done!

  11. DKaz Says:

    Brilliant reporting!

  12. Roger Blose Says:

    Terrific and I still laughing! Hey my first car was a Ford Pinto with a flame thrower fuel tank!

  13. Ukendoit Says:

    I know you’ve gotten complaints before about it, but your Q2 commencement installment was sorely missed last year; I’m glad you’re back. All hail the kings of fa-ké news!

  14. Chuck Grenci Says:

    April 1st is tomorrow; best you give us the ‘real’ news and have a special edition for then. Though, I’ve got to admit, that was pretty damn funny. (thought I was watching a ‘Lampoon Movie’

  15. Drew Says:

    Thank you so much. You just made a huge dent in the world’s shortage of smiles.

  16. Mark Says:

    If it were April 1st then today’s post might make more sense. Otherwise it is just odd.

  17. Jordan Grancell Says:

    Look out Colbert, Fallon, and Kimmel here comes John McElroy.

  18. Bob Z Says:

    And I am sure that the Obama to Trump limo was bugged too.

  19. G.A.Branigan Says:

    In keeping with today’s news,I found this ;}>

    The Dems looked to France, Greece, etc, for guidance with this important legislation!

    The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA)
    The Democratic Senate is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many more Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills and ambition.

    “Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.”

    In a Capitol Hill press conference Nancy Pelosi pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

    Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
    Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

    Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?”

    “As a non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember “righty tighty, lefty loosey”. “This new law should be real good for people like me. I’ll finally have job security.” With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Said Sen. Dick Durbin,II: “As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.”

    This message was approved by Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Diane Feinstein, Barbara Boxer & Nancy Pelosi

  20. Rick Says:

    Haha, had me going for a couple of minutes :)

  21. Dom Montesano Says:

    RE: OBAMA GIFTS LIMO TO TRUMP & EPA FINDS ANOTHER DEFEAT DEVICE

    Something both sides need. Good clean laughter and maybe they can work together.

  22. Joe Pastor Says:

    John, to you and your brilliant staff, I have only 3 words:. Awesome…Awesome…AWESOME!

  23. Lex Says:

    John,

    I really liked today’s news! Your jacket, shirt and tie combination were spot on.