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Runtime: 4:58
0:08 Lincoln Targets Senior Citizens
0:52 Reuss To Be in Pace Car
1:42 Tesla’s Thousand Mile Battery Upgrade
2:11 New Rules of The Road
2:56 El Chapo Uses Ghosn Disguise to Escape Prison
3:38 Fiat Abandons Monthly Sales Reports
4:03 GM Takes Trump’s Presidential Limo Back
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This is Autoline Daily reporting on the global automotive industry.
LINCOLN TARGETS SENIOR CITIZENS
Joy Folatico, the head honcho at Lincoln, says the brand will give up trying to sell cars to millennials and enthusiasts. Instead, she says they’ll now go back to their core customers, senior citizens. Autoforecast Solutions reports that Lincoln will come out with two new models next year, the EKG and the EMS. The EMS goes from zero to the nearest hospital in under 10 minutes and the speedometer doubles as a blood pressure monitor. The EKG comes a bumper attachment for gurneys and the windows double as medical display screens.
REUSS TO BE IN PACE CAR
Autoline Daily just learned that GM President Mark Reuss has been invited back to drive the pace car at this year’s Detroit Grand Prix. You may remember that at last year’s race Reuss managed to smash the pace car to pieces. Even so, the race organizers still want him back. But this time they’re going to give him one of those autonomous cars from Cruise Automation. You know, one of those cars that don’t have any pedals or a steering wheel.
TESLA’S THOUSAND MILE BATTERY UPGRADE
Elon Musk announced this morning that Tesla has a battery upgrade for the S, the X and the Model 3. They can now go a thousand miles on a single charge. And to make sure that owners don’t have to stop for bathroom breaks, the upgrade includes a catheter for drivers to use. Those Tesla engineers sure are clever. They even hook it up so it doubles as a windshield washer sprayer.
NEW RULES OF THE ROAD
We want to credit Ryan McDermott for alerting everyone to some new driving regulations in Phoenix. Forget any driving rules you already learned. In Phoenix, cars or trucks with the loudest muffler now go first at any 4-way stop sign. Trucks with the biggest tires go next. But SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms always have the right of way over everybody.
Ryan says traffic is so bad in Phoenix that morning rush hour now runs from 5 am to noon. The evening rush hour runs from noon to 7 pm. And Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
EL CHAPO USES GHOSN DISGUISE TO ESCAPE PRISON
The notorious Mexican drug lord Joaquin Guzman, better known as El Chapo, just escaped from a federal penitentiary. Again. And it wasn’t even an inside job. This time he was able to get past the guards by disguising himself to look like former Nissan CEO, Carlos Ghosn getting out of prison. El Chapo walked right out of a maximum-security prison and got away in a Nissan Maxima.
FIAT ABANDONS MONTHLY SALES REPORTS
As we reported last year, GM and Ford broke with the industry practice of reporting sales monthly and switched to quarterly sales reports. But now Fiat has decided that it will only give out sales reports once a year. As one source told us, “I mean, who needs to hear every single month that sales are down 45%?”
GM TAKES TRUMP’S PRESIDENTIAL LIMO BACK
General Motors is so mad at President Trump that it’s taking the presidential limo back. The President immediately tweeted out that he doesn’t care about GM’s decision because he didn’t like riding around in such a “piece of JUNK” from such “a LOSER company.” But the President won’t be without a limo for long. Vladimir Putin immediately ordered AvtoVAZ to make a classic car for Trump. In a quote from the Kremlin, Putin bragged that, “Lada’s make beautiful limos.”
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John McElroy is an influential thought leader in the automotive industry. He is a journalist, lecturer, commentator and entrepreneur. He created “Autoline Daily,” the first industry webcast of industry news and analysis.